Something New

As we finally got the new appartment things started to change. Slowly, I should say, I started to feel better and although some problems are still very much present there is this slow current of happiness and stillness flowing in my thoughts and settling in.
Still there is this rather big issue with the job and we haven’t finished moving all our stuff but I feel so good at some particular moments that I think everything will be just fine!
Besides all the paperwork still to take care I can’t avoid worrying about having money to pay the rent… What if something goes wrong and I loose my job? What if I just can’t take it anymore and quit?
As everyone knows it is so hard to build something but so easy and quick to ruin it all… I know… I worry too much, I can’t control it, I should, I must, I will.
So today was my first ride with the train to work, I am still learning all the details, the lines, timetables and prices but there’s only one first day and it’s almost done.
If I wished for some change in my life a few years ago, I got it! I have something new EVERY DAY! (and usually in German )

Signing out from somewhere in between Pforzheim and Stuttgart here I go try to find my way back home..

Just-In-Time

As in the JIT concept, my life is an optimization of possible interpretations to an adaptation to the real situation in hand. Simply put, I have driven my life for the past year on a road that has just been laid ahead. This to say that I have had absolutely no pre-determined path to where I want to go, I simply adapt to the path I choose to take and focus on where I want to go, and believe me, I know where I want to go!

Up until this moment I had my life planned a couple of weeks ahead and lately within the month timeframe. But now, the time has passed and I am close to an all-or-nothing situation, although I am confident all will end well it hasn’t been easy and I can say it’s been hard to keep my focus on a stressless state of mind.

I have to leave my rented apartment this Friday and still have nowhere to go. It gets a bit more complicated if I add 200kg of stuff to move and not much storage options around.

It is not so easy being an alien, but I am sure it is just another bump in the road to happiness abroad.

I can also think of another analogy for my feeling right now, a Markov Chain:

…given the present state, future states are independent of the past states. In other words, the description of the present state fully captures all the information that could influence the future evolution of the process. Future states will be reached through a probabilistic process instead of a deterministic one…

Better (deterministic) days will come, I’m hoping tomorrow!

I made it (my life is a mess)!

It has been quite a while since my last online adventures. In the mean time I was able to shake my “perfect life”, turn it inside out and blend it to powder!

Making a (really) long story short I left my old girlfriend, house, car, job, friends and country. That’s just about it.

Someday in August 2004 I came across an old (girl) friend of mine, I was astonished by seeing her after 11 years, and since that was the kind of person I was, I twisted my fate just enough to bump into her and make a conversation. After (incredibly, I must say) being able to get her phone number, and let some days go by I called her for a cup of coffee… that turned into a cup of tea… that turned into… something else, far from what I had already settled for.
After a few stressful events I was living an incredible roller-coaster of emotions and starting what would be the (first real) adventure of my life.

I had accomplished my first life goal to have a baby before the age of 30, and in May 2006 I had finally sold my old apartment changed car and moved to a (not so) new place.

One more year and I was moving on to a new job, in August 2007 I left my 4-years-old-5-minute-away “dream” job and was doing what I had promise not to do again… working in Lisbon. 

From there to here it took a lot of pain and sacrifice, a lot of barriers where overcome and after one year all seems to be coming together, and it has been quite a ride. It is almost perfect!

 

Sunset at the Alpsee

The photo used for the blog header (look right) was taken a couple of days ago close to Füssen (Bavaria, Germany), the lake is the Alpsee and is again another dream landscape I have lately seen and touched. This is near to Neuschwanstein where I was visiting a castle, yes a real fairy tale castle, it was out of this world and the landscapes are from my dreams.