Something New

As we finally got the new appartment things started to change. Slowly, I should say, I started to feel better and although some problems are still very much present there is this slow current of happiness and stillness flowing in my thoughts and settling in.
Still there is this rather big issue with the job and we haven’t finished moving all our stuff but I feel so good at some particular moments that I think everything will be just fine!
Besides all the paperwork still to take care I can’t avoid worrying about having money to pay the rent… What if something goes wrong and I loose my job? What if I just can’t take it anymore and quit?
As everyone knows it is so hard to build something but so easy and quick to ruin it all… I know… I worry too much, I can’t control it, I should, I must, I will.
So today was my first ride with the train to work, I am still learning all the details, the lines, timetables and prices but there’s only one first day and it’s almost done.
If I wished for some change in my life a few years ago, I got it! I have something new EVERY DAY! (and usually in German )

Signing out from somewhere in between Pforzheim and Stuttgart here I go try to find my way back home..

Why the Karma thing?

Yes, you are probably asking: “What’s with the Karma thing?”

The philosophical explanation of karma can differ slightly between traditions, but the general concept is basically the same. Through the law of karma, the effects of all deeds actively create past, present, and future experiences, thus making one responsible for one’s own life, and the pain and joy it brings to him/her and others.

Feeling disappointed.

Well, not that I was not a good person before, as a matter of fact I was a really good person up until my approaching my 20′s, but along the way I lost my self confidence, my purity and willing to do but good. I lost my way and was lost for a really long time, I did not commit any crimes or the likes but I wasn’t that old trustworthy, caring, confident and most of all, simple me.

I was a different person then.

I am a different person now.

As always a big change is also an opportunity to start all over again, and reality is just like in the movies, you can turn your life around at any second that goes by. I took a big chance (described in my last posting) and took the opportunity to start fresh, refactor myself and recover my old peace of mind.

First of all I started giving less importance to physical property, not that I completely stopped being materialist but started on a better path and immediately felt better.

Second I started believing there was something better for me out there, so I took a chance, prepared my way and went for it. It was not easy at all and was all part of the change but in the end it was the right move, the only move. No regrets so far.

Third I started to cool down and be more like the old self, to stress too much, being kind to others and take every opportunity be good to someone else.

What I can say is that I am currently living the best days of my life, although nothing is perfect and I am still a long (then again, maybe not so long) way to having reached all my goals all is going good. There are some problems still to solve, a lot of obstacles were already overcome but in the end… well in the end we’ll see, but for now I am already happy, my friends and family see me as a better person (I really hope so), I have a small family of my own and live in the prettiest country I have ever seen.

I made it (my life is a mess)!

It has been quite a while since my last online adventures. In the mean time I was able to shake my “perfect life”, turn it inside out and blend it to powder!

Making a (really) long story short I left my old girlfriend, house, car, job, friends and country. That’s just about it.

Someday in August 2004 I came across an old (girl) friend of mine, I was astonished by seeing her after 11 years, and since that was the kind of person I was, I twisted my fate just enough to bump into her and make a conversation. After (incredibly, I must say) being able to get her phone number, and let some days go by I called her for a cup of coffee… that turned into a cup of tea… that turned into… something else, far from what I had already settled for.
After a few stressful events I was living an incredible roller-coaster of emotions and starting what would be the (first real) adventure of my life.

I had accomplished my first life goal to have a baby before the age of 30, and in May 2006 I had finally sold my old apartment changed car and moved to a (not so) new place.

One more year and I was moving on to a new job, in August 2007 I left my 4-years-old-5-minute-away “dream” job and was doing what I had promise not to do again… working in Lisbon. 

From there to here it took a lot of pain and sacrifice, a lot of barriers where overcome and after one year all seems to be coming together, and it has been quite a ride. It is almost perfect!

 

Sunset at the Alpsee

The photo used for the blog header (look right) was taken a couple of days ago close to Füssen (Bavaria, Germany), the lake is the Alpsee and is again another dream landscape I have lately seen and touched. This is near to Neuschwanstein where I was visiting a castle, yes a real fairy tale castle, it was out of this world and the landscapes are from my dreams.